Calling All Cars! Calling All Cars!

Be on the lookout for a gang of directors! Disney Department of Law Enforcement are issuing warrants for the arrest of one Francis Ford Coppola a.k.a. “The Godfather” for the crime of calling the Marvel Cinematic Universe: “despicable”.

His gang consists of:

Martin Scorsese, a.k.a “The Taxi Driver”, wanted for the crime of calling Marvel movies “theme park rides“.

James Cameron, a.k.a. “The Terminator” wanted for suggesting that there are other stories to tell besides “hyper-gonadal males without families doing death-defying things for two hours and wrecking cities in the process.”

John Landis, a.k.a. “The American Werewolf”, wanted for the crime of being “bored sh*less” with the MCU for “being interchangeable” and the same destruction of cities over and over again.

Ken Loach, a.k.a. “Riff-Raff”, wanted for the crime of comparing Marvel films to hamburgers.

Lucrecia Martel, a.k.a. “The Holy Girl”, wanted for the crime of calling Marvel films “painful” to watch.

Jennifer Aniston, a.k.a. “The One From Friends”, wanted for the crime of complaining that Marvel is “diminishing” movies.

These free-thinking people are dangerous and a threat to the Disney empire. They are armed, award-worthy and opinionated. If you ever come across these individuals, do the following:

Stop, drop and throw a tantrum.

As much as I respect Scorsese and Coppola, the next time someone rants about Marvel films being despicable or uninspiring, just think how many kids ask for a murderous mobster hitman to come visit them in the hospital. #MCU #MarvelStudios #FrancisFordCoppola #MartinScorsese pic.twitter.com/GwkbB4mQg5

— Joseph Preston Garber (@josephgarberIII) October 21, 2019

(That’s right, drag out the kids. Does this guy know that DC Superheroes, Disney Princesses and Star Wars characters also visit kids in hospitals? And that Scorsese and Coppola made other types of movies?)

Run to the nearest glass house and start throwing stones.

the icing on the cake of francis ford coppola calling marvel movies "despicable" while funding the career of victor salva, a convicted pedophile filmmaker, is that james gunn (a marvel director) risked his career by openly refusing to work with the same guy pic.twitter.com/sMd828BH1V

— Jack Saint (INACTIVE, SOCIALS IN BIO) (@lackingsaint) October 21, 2019

(Marvel fans: “Coppola produced the work of a pedophile! Also Marvel fans: “So what if James Gunn made sexist/homophobic/pedophile jokes, they’re just jokes!)

Tell them their old and senile.

https://twitter.com/johncampea/status/1186084029604364288

Remind them of how they haven’t made a (good) movie in years.

If you think Francis Ford Coppola is on on “the cinematic Mt. Rushmore,” you need to watch see more movies. Preferably ones not made by white American dudes.

FOH with this Coppola beatification. Dude hasn’t made a meaningful film in literally 40 years. https://t.co/v9yfJoabUH

— Evan 💀 (@TachyonEvan) October 20, 2019

Remind them of the ONE bad movie they made.

https://twitter.com/NastyChinHipstr/status/1186059147445440512

Remind them of how Marvel movies have made more money.

If you have any information, please contact the Mouse Authorities.

(Note: It appears that our gang was on to something.)

If this doesn’t make your blood boil… https://t.co/A4WERjtuX1 pic.twitter.com/yRMWq5whHG

— Vikram Murthi (@fauxbeatpoet) October 24, 2019

https://twitter.com/bloodoftheland/status/1187434290939863040

Honestly, it’s pathetic that in 2019 the most controversial thing to say is anything against Marvel or Disney.