The True Herstory of the Nightsisters

… Or why EU fans and Star Wars.com are equally annoying.

The sudden passing of Dave Wolverton on January 14, had many star warriors reminiscing about the first time they ever read his 1994 novel, The Courtship of Princess Leia. Around the same time Star Wars.com published an article called Star Wars Inside Intel: The Nightsisters. Written by Emily Shkoukani, a member of the Lucasfilm Story Group (whose job is to “know as much about a galaxy far, far away as possible”), the article committed this original sin:

“Making their canon debut in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated television series the Nightsisters were eccentric witches residing on the distant, rocky world of Dathomir. In the show’s episode aptly titled “Nightsisters,” fans first encountered the mystifying culture of these witches.”

This got many EU fans in a tizzy for ignoring the fact that Dave Wolverton created the Nightsisters and the planet Dathomir first and they expressed their grievances on Twitter, prompting the author to update her article and apologize for the error.

Our team was able to get Disney Lucasfilm to see reason and not only add the note at the beginning, but the "by Dave Wolverton" to the text. This is where firm and logical pushback can bring about reasonable responses. Thanks for the retweets and watching the shorts. 💪 pic.twitter.com/F4z01OdQ9O

— Open-Airlock Policy (@AirlockOpen) January 19, 2022

Predictably, this glaring error, also brought out the knives on Dave Filoni and the Clone Wars cartoon for “butchering” the EU.

This was written on the day of Dave Wolverton’s passing. I find it dishonest to not give him credit for introducing Dathomire & the Dathomerian Witches (aka Knight Sisters). Of course Filoni got all the credit. https://t.co/33pRuKlADy

— 🇺🇸O.G.Starwars 🪶💫 🕉🧘🏻‍♀️ (@OGStarwarsAB) January 15, 2022

(I saw another tweet that said “Filoni is a hack” but I can’t seem to find it right now.)

Yes, it was stupid and lazy on Lucasfilm’s part to ignore the contributions Wolverton gave to Star Wars (and considering that the author lists her pronouns as they/she, this should come as no surprise) especially on the heels of his death. But does that give fans the right to bash Filoni at the same time for re-introducing the force-wielding witches to a wider audience? No. George Lucas created and produced Star Wars: The Clone Wars, he has the right to override the EU if he wants to, Clone Wars was around long before Disney got its mitts on the franchise and it was butchered by Disney just as much as the Expanded Universe was.

And in a twist of irony it gives Filoni too much credit when the person who wrote all the Nightsisters episodes was Katie Lucas, daughter of George. It’s no different from what StarWars.com did to Wolverton. Besides, in a 2014 interview for the 20th anniversary of TCOPL, Wolverton had this to say:

So it appears Wolverton was happy to see his creation on The Clone Wars and was looking forward to seeing more onscreen depictions of Nightsisters. Maybe if Lucas were still in charge, we would’ve eventually seen more of the Singing Mountain Clan in upcoming shows, video games and action figures.

Well, now that we got that out of the way, let’s take this hated, updated article and improve on it by rewriting it with EU and CW references. My “article” will mostly focus on standout moments and characters from the franchise. If you want a more detailed, in-depth article about the Nightsisters, head on over to Wookieepedia (and click on the Legends tab, if you so choose).

Star Wars Inside Intel: The Nightsisters

Meet the Witches of Dathomir

by The Lady From Planet X

Making their first appearance in the 1994 Legends novel The Courtship of Princess Leia by the late Dave Wolverton, the Nightsisters were force sensitive magick practicing witches (yes, according to George, the Force and magic exist in the same universe, which is why the jedi are not “space wizards”) hailing from the planet Dathomir. In chapter 2, page 19, Luke Skywalker discovers an old holo vid of a young Master Yoda describing the failed rescue of “Chu’unthor from Dathomir”:

“Artoo”, Luke said. “Run through your astrogation files and tell me if you find any reference to a place named Dathomir. It could be a star system, a single planet…” Maybe even a person, he thought with dismay.

Artoo took a moment, then whistled a negative. “I thought not,” Luke said. I’ve never heard of it, either.” During the Clone Wars, so many planets had been destroyed, made uninhabitable. Perhaps Dathomir was one of those, a world so ravaged that it had been forgotten.

Conveniently, Luke’s question would be answered when a lovesick Han Solo wins Dathomir in a card game and kidnaps Leia to the mysterious planet. There, Han and Leia encounter the Singing Mountain Clan, a tribe of force-sensitive Amazons (who more than likely represent the Light Side of the Force) and their enemies, The Nightsisters, who are, in Han’s words, “their sith”.

“The Nightsisters have come for General Solo and the other offworlders. We captured them first, and by all right they belong to us!”

“If you want to interrogate General Solo, then perhaps I can help you. General Solo, why did you come to Dathomir?” Augwynne’s eyes flashed to the pouch at Han’s belt and he took the cue.

“I own this planet and everything on it,” Han said. “I came to check out my real estate.”

As one of the Nightsisters began hissing, shaking their heads, and Baritha spat, “A man claims to own Dathomir?”

Han fumbled in his pouch for the deed, found the box and pressed its switch. The holo of Dathomir appeared in the air above his palm, his name clearly registered as owner.

“No!” Baritha shouted, waving her hand. The box flew from Han’s grip, tumbled to the floor.

“That’s right,” Han said, I own this world, and I want you and your Nightsisters off my planet!”

Baritha glared at him. “Gladly,” she said. “Provide us a ship, and we will leave.” – chapter 14, pg 179

Trailing Han and Leia to the planet, Luke and Leia’s suitor, Prince Isolder, are also captured by the Singing Mountain Clan and – long story short (seriously, just read the book, it’s really good) – together they battle the Nightsisters.

This novel introduced the Nightsister character of Gethzerion, who would later make an appearance in Star Wars Galaxies.

However, in the next year, all this would get retconned… sort of.

In 1995, Bantam Spectra, the same company that published TCOPL, published Kevin J. Anderson’s The Illustrated Star Wars Universe, a sort of textbook/travelogue “written” by historians and poets about the history and ecology of the planets of the Original Trilogy.

According to this source book, the witch Charal (played by Sian Phillips) from the 1985 TV movie, Ewoks: The Battle For Endor was the first introduction of a Nightsister. In the book, an Imperial sergeant by the name of Pfilbee Jhorn writes:

“Charal, is a female shape-shifter, a Force-wielding witch who apparently escaped from her exile on a planet called Dathomir.”

Nearly executed for stealing the Talisman of the Raven for its shapeshifting powers, Charal escaped from Dathomir and joined the Sanyassan Maurauders. She was made second-in-command to the warlord Terak and they ended up on Endor where they encountered Cindel Towani, Noa Briqualon and the Ewoks. In the end, she was turned into a raven permanently when Wicket destroyed the talisman.

It’s interesting to note that Dave Filoni was considering including Charal in the show, but for some reason, it didn’t happen. However, she’s mentioned Daniel Wallace’s Book of Sith: Secrets From the Dark Side (2012).

In the same year, Anderson wrote another book where Luke would confront another Nightsister again, this time to rescue his niece and nephew. Young Jedi Knights: Shadow Academy introduced readers to Tamith Kai, a Nightsister who teamed up with a fallen jedi named Brakiss to “recruit” force sensitive youths into the Shadow Academy to be “trained” into Dark Jedi. Tamith Kai is hilariously defeated when the practical Tenel Ka, daughter of Prince Isolder, responds to Kai’s Force powers with a swift kick to the knee.

By now you’ve noticed that the Nightsisters are depicted as human looking with a pale complexion. All that would change in the late ’90s and early ’00s.

The “Sith Witch”

During the making of The Phantom Menace, Lucas told concept artist Ian McCaig to design a person from “your worst nightmare”. One of the sketches would later become known as the “Sith Witch”, a woman dressed in red robes with a black and white type of “rorschach pattern” on her face.

This design was rejected by Lucas for the movie, but would later appear in The Dark Side Sourcebook of the 2001 Star Wars Roleplaying Game.

Another concept sketch that would be rejected and then recycled was Dermot Power’s “female apprentice to Count Dooku”.

But we’ll get to her in a minute.

On January 7, 2011, fans finally got to see the Nightsisters come to life in The Clone Wars season 3 episode titled, aptly, “Nightsisters”. It turns out that Asajj Ventress, who already made a name for herself in Dermot Power’s sketches, Clone Wars comics and books and Genndy Tartakovsky’s 2003 Clone Wars animated shorts, hailed from this eccentric coven – although her upbringing largely differed from her sisters.

Dathomir is depicted in The Clone Wars with sprawling rockscapes consisting of canyons, caves and cliffs (this is why when Prince Isolder saw Tenenial Djo nude for the first time, he noticed how muscular her back looked from lots of rock climbing). The flora and fauna aren’t too particularly friendly either. Fungus and fire lichen grow abundantly and native to the planet is the Rancor, used as mounts for the Nightsisters.

The Nightsisters’ magick was dark in nature, and Jedi that found themselves on their world often described feeling the presence of the dark side. Although their understanding of it was unique to their world and culture, the magick the sisters wielded was seemingly connected to the Force — just used in a vastly different way than the Jedi or the Sith. Where those groups followed strict dogmas and used the Force in (arguably) more simple ways such as pushing and pulling objects/beings or levitating, the Nightsisters used their magick to cast spells, perform rituals, and brew potions. 

When Asajj Ventress returned to her home world seeking guidance, her sisters bathed her in the glowing-green Water of Life in a ritual inducting her into their clan. Later, Mother Talzin, the leader of the clan, brewed a potion that allowed Asajj and a few of her sisters to become transparent — almost invisible — in order to perform a stealth mission.

The Nightsisters also used another form of their magick in rituals conducted following the death of one of their own. When a Nightsister passed, her clan took great care of the body, wrapping it in cloth soaked in the planet’s magickal waters and reciting a spell of protection for their fallen sister. They were then placed in a burial pod that would be hung from a Grave Thorn, a warped and twisted, barbed tree native to the planet.

Though it appeared that the Witches of Dathomir ruled the planet, like most humanoid species, these women still needed males to reproduce. While The Singing Mountain Clan often captured men as mates, the Nightsisters had male counterparts in the form of the Nightbrothers, subservient to the witches. The two sects of natives lived and operated in separate areas of the planet, the Nightsisters calling on the brothers when needed. When Asajj’s original assassination plan failed with the use of the invisibility potion, Mother Talzin organized a competition amongst a selection of Nightbrothers. They fought in gladiatorial-style trials before one, Savage Opress, edged out the competition. He was then tasked to aid Asajj in her quest to exact revenge on her former teacher, Count Dooku. Whereas the Nightsisters wielded magick, the Nightbrothers were warriors. After Savage was selected to assist Asajj, Mother Talzin and the Nightsisters used their magicks to enhance Savage’s physical strength, putting him under a spell that forced him to obey their directions.

Savage Opress

Mother Talzin was among the strongest witches in her clan, and served as their leader. She was a master at her arcane abilities, with the Nightsisters seeking her guidance. She was also responsible for handling any relations with the galaxy, such as when the malevolent Darth Sidious, an ally of Talzin’s, came to Dathomir and saw the potential in one of the young Nightbrothers. Talzin released the child to Sidious, who raised him as his Sith apprentice, and became known as Darth Maul (note: this happened in the James Luceno Legends novel, Darth Plagueis).

After the many attempts Asajj made to have her former master, Count Dooku, executed to get revenge against him for abandoning her, Dooku turned his attention to the Nightsisters. With the Separatist army at his disposal, Dooku ordered General Grievous and his battle droids to the twisted planet of Dathomir to eradicate the galaxy of Nightsisters. But the Nightsisters would not go down without a fight.

With the guidance of Mother Talzin and the power of their dark magicks, the Nightsisters retaliated against the Separatist droids. Talzin went so far as to raise the dead, awakening deceased Nightsisters from their long slumber to aid the living in their attempt to avoid extinction. But despite their power and abilities, Talzin’s Nightsister clan met its demise. All but a few were slain, but their legacy carried on in those that remained.

My final entry here is Dark Disciple, a 2015 novel penned by Christie Golden, that was originally going to be an eight-part story arc on The Clone Wars before cancellation. After the massacre of her sisters and her betrayal by Count Dooku, Asajj spends the rest of her days as a bounty hunter. With the Jedi Order more determined than ever to have Dooku killed, they turn to his former apprentice for help by teaming her up with Jedi Master Quinlan Vos on a mission to assassinate the sith lord. You can guess how well that turns out. Long story short (seriously, read the book, its really good. Its arguably the only good novel from the new Star Wars canon), Ventress is killed in the process. Vos and Obi-Wan Kenobi (who now views Ventress as an ally) lay Asajj’s body in a dark pool at an abandoned Nightsister village on Dathomir. To the awe of the two jedi, the pool turns green at the touch of her body and the voices of the deceased Nightsisters are heard, welcoming Ventress back.

So there you have it. A herstory of the Nightsisters. What are your favorite memories of these creepy cool gals? Did you ever cosplay as a Nightsister? Do you own a Mother Talzin action figure? Let me know in the comments.

For Dave Wolverton (1957-2022), the Original Nightbrother.

This Is A Public Service Announcement

It makes perfect sense to call Jango/Boba Fett’s ship “Slave 1”. Last time I checked, the Fett’s were villains, bounty hunters who were not above aligning themselves with the Empire, the Confederacy or the Hutts. Their job is to hunt down anyone with a price on their head regardless of whether the bounty is guilty or innocent and I’m sure some those targets were escaped slaves. Jango lied about his role in the creation of the Clone army, tried to kill Obi-Wan and shot a jedi to death on Geonosis. Boba tried to kill Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. They look cool but these are not characters you want to root for.

So why change his ship’s name to “Firespray”? What kind of name is “Firespray” anyway? Sounds like something a preschooler with a fireman obsession would say. Or a pyromaniac who likes to look at sexy fireman calendars. Or a form of diarrhea you get from eating too much Tabasco sauce. So what if Firespray is a class of ship, do you call The USS Enterprise the NCC-1701? If “Slave 1” is too triggering for you, then why not rename it “Hunter 1”?

This has been a public service announcement.

“Looking For Leia” In All The Wrong Places

 

Analise Ophelian’s docuseries, Looking For Leia, is a look into the female fandom of Star Wars and what the saga means to them.  If your curious about it, you can head on over to SyFy.com or SyFyWire at YouTube. I, on the other hand, have no interest in watching it.

Now I know some male anti-Disney Star Warriors will predictably boycott it for being “man-exclusionary” but that’s a stupid reason. Let’s face it boys, in the Star Wars franchise, the male to female ratio is uneven, even if you count characters from the EU and the CW. It wouldn’t hurt to have some books, articles and documentaries on the women of Star Wars. In fact, I think if there was a Women of the Galaxy book or a “Sisters of the Force” fashion line pre-2012, you boys would have no problem with it. That’s because the roster would include awesome characters like Juno Eclipse, Kea Moll, Cindel Towani and of course, Mara Jade Skywalker, instead of duds like Rose Tico, Admiral Holdo and Rey.

No, my reason for boycotting Looking for Leia is that it falls into the gender identity trap. Back when the director was sending out invites for fan interviews, her description was for any woman that’s “feminine-leaning”, “masculine-leaning” and other gender terminology gobbledygook. What does it matter whether the woman acts “masculine” or “feminine” – THEY’RE STILL WOMEN!!!

Now here’s the description of the film:

LOOKING FOR LEIA is a seven part docu-series about women as well as non-binary fans who found identity, connection, and purpose in their love of the galaxy far, far away.

Non-binary. They said the same thing with the Women of the Galaxy book. Why do they always have to throw in the non-binary crowd with women? Can’t the non-binary people have their own documentaries and books? Besides, there’s no such thing as non-binary, there are only two sexes: male and female. Gender is psychological and social and differs from era to era and culture to culture but biological sex is immutable. Here’s an explanation:

Sex is – “this baby has a vagina”,

Gender is – “so we’ll wrap her in a pink blanket”.

Any woman who loves Star Wars is fighting gender roles because for the longest time, society believed that science fiction was for boys.

Oh and here’s how the Team describes themselves. From their official website:

Annalise Ophelian, Psy.D. She’s a white, queer, cis woman

“Queer” and “cis”. What’s with the use of the word “queer”? Queer means strange or odd and to spoil or ruin something. For the longest time “queer” was a slur in the gay community. It’s also too vague. Is she lesbian? Bisexual? Or does she just like to wear mismatched socks. There was a time when homosexual women were called “lesbians”, yet that word seems to be disappearing from the English language. And who cares if she’s white? It wouldn’t matter in the galaxy far, far away so why would it matter in this galaxy?

Kayla Martin. A pansexual cis woman

She and Lando can bond over their fetish for cookingware.

Emilia Quinton. She is proudly mixed race and transgender.

Translation: she’s really a delusional man.

Gwen Park. Gwen is a past Executive of the San Francisco Trans March’s Board of Directors, and is frequently found documenting arts events and public demonstrations for the San Francisco trans and queer community.

I’m guessing this is another man.

StormMiguel Florez. A trans Latinx multi-media producer and editor.  StormMiguel and Annalise are a husbynd and wyfe team.

“Husbynd” and “wyfe”. Not only did they spell it wrong, StormMiguel sounds like someone who isn’t happy with herself so she mutilated her body. If her marriage to Annalise fails, it won’t surprise me.

Maria Breaux. Her focus is on marginalized characters in unique predicaments. Her work includes Funcle and Socorro (both premiering at the San Francisco Transgender Film Festival).

Oh and here’s two of the interviewees, both of them men (Charlie Jane Anders used to work for the prequel hating i09).

They can't enjoy Star Wars if the protagonists don't look exactly like them. Thanks to Disney, things are changing. pic.twitter.com/DwnkmDm26N

— Jar Jar (Not) ̶A̶b̶r̶a̶m̶s̶ (@JarJarAbramss) January 22, 2020

Don’t even get me started on the whiny “representation” complaints.

When I was a teenager, I used to imagine filming a documentary about the female fans (regardless of color, age, class, religion or sexual orientation) of Star Wars and how the franchise inspired and empowered them. I would’ve called it Women of the Force. I believed – and still do – that girls aspired to become writers, scientists, feminists and scholars because of Star Wars.

And while we’re on the subject of women and fandom…

Dear Fandom Menace, These Feminists You Criticize Aren’t Feminists

From time to time, certain members of the Fandom Menace like to retweet certain feminists and criticize them for being SJW/misandrists. Curiosity got the best of me and I did a little investigating. These women and men are not feminists.

https://twitter.com/ProfaneFeminist/status/1186793550593351680

This woman was recently retweeted by Fandom Menace Girl for her man bashing tweet. Her cousin was recently murdered by her boyfriend and she’s raising awareness for domestic violence. At first I felt sorry for her and was mad at Fandom Menace Girl for being so cold. Then I came across the above tweet and that’s when any sympathy I had for her went out the window. Here’s another lovely thing she had to say to a woman:

https://twitter.com/ProfaneFeminist/status/1187436435114209280

“Rights aren’t up for debate”? So what if her cousin had to find refuge in a DV shelter and her abusive boyfriend decided to identify as a woman to gain access to that shelter because the shelter acknowledged gender identity instead of biological sex? What if the staff of said shelter told her that her “rights aren’t up for debate?” This is actually happening in a lot of women’s shelters across North America.

Moving on to the next tweet and it involves The Mandalorian.

https://twitter.com/EEllisBooks/status/1194373671210622979

Non-male?

Honey, the opposite of male is FEMALE!

Next.

Two tweets, one idiot, who likes to take potshots at anti-Disney fans:

It's both Trans Day of Visibility and the 20th anniversary of the Matrix, so I'm just going to point out the obvious truth that if Lana and Lily Wachowski had entered the film industry as trans women instead of cis men, they would still be trying to get their first film made.

— Ashley Lynch ✂️🎞️ (@ashleylynch) March 31, 2019

Oh I doubt that very much.

Larry and Andy Wachowski as they were once known, were born in 1965 and 1967 respectively. By the time they released The Matrix, they’re breakout hit, they were in their early ’30s. By the time both came out as transgender (in the mid new-tens), they were in their mid-to-late 40s. So both had lived the majority of their lives as men and “transitioned” into women without undergoing all the trials and tribulations of puberty that are typical of girls becoming women. They’ll never know what it’s like to menstruate, have cramps, get pregnant, give birth or go through menopause.

And for awhile the brothers were given the title of the highest-grossing female filmmakers. Ironic considering that most of their films (with the exception of Jupiter Rising), center on male protagonists.

At least George Lucas isn’t living as a woman.

The right is really going hard on pretending they're mad that the Guardian sent two lesbians on a blind date and that one of them was trans.

This horrifying blind date ended with a kiss & plans for the next date.

These people need to get a fucking life.https://t.co/GPtrKDSSON

— Ashley Lynch ✂️🎞️ (@ashleylynch) November 27, 2019

No honey, these aren’t “two lesbians”. One is an actual woman and the other is a man pretending to be a woman. A lesbian is – wait for it – a female homosexual. A man pretending to be a woman is still a man and lesbians aren’t attracted to men. Sexual orientation is about being attracted to members of the opposite or same sex. Not gender. Get it? Oh and it’s lesbians who are mad at the Guardian.

Now we have a “male feminist” (also called out by Fandom Menace Girl).

Pigpuncher seems to be attacking TERFs (deservedly so) in order to divert his audience away from HIS own transphobia and enbyphobia. https://t.co/RWVamZecEc

— DannyKorcz@kolektiva.social🏴✡️ (@dannykorcz) January 14, 2020

In case your wondering, TERF stands for “trans-exclusionary radical feminist”. It’s a slur against any woman who questions or criticizes gender identity. This guy thinks “TERFs” “deserve” to be attacked. So in another words: direct violence at a woman for refusing to believe that men can be women. This sentiment is terrifyingly common.

I know this post will be my most controversial. I’ll be labeled a bigot, a transphobe, a TERF and every other name under the sun. I might even lose followers. I don’t care. I’d rather be honest than popular.

“Galaxy Quest” At 20 and “Gentlemen Broncos” At 10

Before I became a Trekkie I was a Questerian. In case you don’t know, that’s someone who’s a fan of the 1999 sci-fi comedy Galaxy Quest which is commemorating its 20th anniversary with a documentary.

I never watched the film in theaters but I remember seeing the commercials on TV and renting it on VHS. I immediately became a fan. I once told my mother that if this show really existed, I would’ve been a “questerian” as they say in the movie. I had no clue that this film was inspired by Star Trek and its fandom, but now it’s considered by many Trek alumni to be the best “Star Trek movie” ever made. I love what Patrick Stewart about his viewing experience:

I had originally not wanted to see Galaxy Quest because I heard that it was making fun of Star Trek, and then Jonathan Frakes rang me up and said “You must not miss this movie! See it on a Saturday night in a full theatre.” And I did, and of course I found it was brilliant. Brilliant. No one laughed louder or longer in the cinema than I did, but the idea that the ship was saved and all of our heroes in that movie were saved simply by the fact that there were fans who did understand the scientific principles on which the ship worked was absolutely wonderful. And it was both funny and also touching in that it paid tribute to the dedication of these fans.

The film went on to develop a devoted fan base that became evident when Alan Rickman passed away from cancer, by posting tributes to his character, Dr. Lazarus.

My tribute to Alan Rickman (Dr. Lazarus from Galaxy Quest).

Available for purchase – inquire if interested. pic.twitter.com/lG7CZ4VBEm

— Todd Spence (@Todd_Spence) January 19, 2016

Sadly, the same can’t be said for Gentlemen Broncos, which is turning 10 this year.

Written and directed by Jared and Jerusha Hess, the same husband and wife team that brought you Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre, this film is a love letter of sorts to sci-fi publishing, as demonstrated by its memorable opening credits, done to the tune of “In the Year 2525” by Yeager and Evans.

The film was scheduled to be released nationwide but due to extremely poor reviews (it got a 19% on Rotten Tomatoes), it was immediately pulled from theaters and marked a career derailment for the Hesses, which is a pity because I found the film to be very unique and far funnier than some of the more slicker, mainstream comedy films in distribution at the time or since. Heck, I’d rather watch this film than more critically acclaimed “nerd” shows like The Big Bang Theory or Community.

So you may be wondering why I’m dedicating a post to two films that couldn’t be any more different from each other (after all you’ve heard of Galaxy Quest, but you can be forgiven for never having heard of Gentlemen Broncos). Well, both are love letters to different SF mediums: GQ is a spoof of SF TV, while GB is a spoof of SF literature.

And they both star Sam Rockwell, who (almost) steals the show.

Another trait both have in common is despite being spoofs of science fiction, these films avoid falling into the trap of portraying science fiction fans as losers and instead depict them as every day, relatable people. While there are quirky characters in the main casts that are written to make audiences laugh, most of the humor comes from the situations thrown at the characters. The “crew” of the NSEA Protector has to deal with fading careers, product placement and aliens that don’t know the difference between fantasy and reality. Teenager Benjamin Purvis has to deal with the realization that the SF author he idolizes is stuck up, stole his story about a space traveling hero and receives all the credit for it, while two nutty independent filmmakers also stole his story ideas.

Another trait they have in common is their use of the “show within a show” trope. Throughout Galaxy Quest, footage of the titular show is used as a reference, while sequences from Benjamin’s and Dr. Chevalier’s stories are interspersed throughout Gentlemen Broncos‘ narrative.

Another one of the subjects both films address is the need for a comeback albeit of a positive/negative dichotomy. After defeating Sarris and saving the Thermians, the cast of Galaxy Quest make a triumphant comeback when their hit show is renewed, while Dr. Chevalier briefly enjoys a comeback with his “novel” Brutus and Balzac after his publishers reject his previous manuscript. Of course once it’s found out that Chevalier plagiarized Benjamin’s work, then Gentlemen Broncos ends up becoming a success story for Benjamin. But whatever the outcome for the characters, I hope that one day Gentlemen Broncos will receive more widespread appreciation like Galaxy Quest did. So in a combination of both films I leave you with these quotes:

“Remember who you are and what you stand for.”

“Never give up, never surrender.”

Have you seen Galaxy Quest or Gentlemen Broncos? What did you think of them? Do you notice any other similarities between the two or am I just imagining things? Let me know in the comments.

Oh and I’m also leaving you with some “advice” from Dr. Chevalier and this E! mockumentary about the “history” of Galaxy Quest.

 

 

 

 

 

How the MCU Failed Women

https://twitter.com/EmmaGaither/status/1125541086456422400

Tweets like the one above address MCU fanboy “sexism” against Carol Danvers, but what Ms. Gaither and others fail to recognize is that the MCU may have coerced sexism into fanboys long before Captain Marvel.

Throughout its 11 years as a franchise powerhouse, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has had a problem with its depictions of women. I’ve heard the refrain: “Unlike Kathleen Kennedy, Kevin Feige listens to the fans” and I’m sorry to tell you, he doesn’t.

Now I know what some of you will say: “but there’s plenty of female superheroes/characters in the MCU” and you’ll list them all. But including women with superpowers and fighting skills does not automatically make your films female-friendly.

https://twitter.com/ghibliantrains/status/1127376044862787584

In fact there’s evidence that proves Marvel doesn’t understand women.

In 2014 the films in the MCU with the highest female viewers were Guardians of the Galaxy (in which 44% of the audience was female) and The Avengers (whose female audience was 40%).

However when it comes to female characters, the MCU has a female problem.  Digital Spy did a little math and here’s the outcome: not a single MCU film has women on the screen for more than 40% of runtime (barring Captain Marvel of course). See the list here. The womens’ character development in the films has also been a cause for complaint. The following are snippets from articles written by female critics and journalists.

Here’s what Shanahan Europa said about Guardians of the Galaxy 1 & 2:

When The Guardians infiltrated the villain’s ship, they have all  learned each others back stories and have gained each others trust. So, when Drax verbally acknowledges their collective friendships, the moment feels earned. He says, “I want you all to know that I am grateful for your acceptance after my blunders. It is pleasing to once again have friends. You, Quill, are my friend….This dumb tree, he is my friend. And this green whore, she, too—”

Justifiably angered by the epithet of “green whore,” Gamora yells back, “You must stop!”

Drax’s brusqueness in this scene does align with the curt and frank personality Gunn has created for this character. But Drax’s choice of words here commits a disservice to the relationship of trust and respect he and Gamora have built up to this point.

A similar pattern is seen in “Vol. 2.” Take for instance halfway through the film when Kraglin, a ravager, asks Nebula, one of the antagonists, what she will spend her cut of a bounty on. She shares her story of emotional and physical trauma at the hands of her father Thanos and, indirectly, her sister Gamora. Growing up, Thanos would have the two sisters spar each other, and everytime Nebula would lose, he would replace one of her body parts with a robotic equivalent.

But Gunn undercuts the horror and tragedy of her backstory through an abrupt tonal shift when Kraglin voices his awkward surprise. “I was talking about, like, [buying] a pretty necklace…Something to make the other girls go, “Ooh, that’s nice!”

From Frederica Bocco:

Of course, Natasha Romanoff was an amazing character, before Age of Ultron ruined her. Maria Hill is badass, when she gets more than a second of screen time. Peggy Carter was incredibly inspirational, before she was moved to television and ABC decided to cancel the show despite the praise of most critics.

The fact that we are finally getting a Captain Marvel film in 2019 is not something to be celebrated and praised as groundbreaking. It’s something to be ashamed of that Marvel’s first female superhero-centered movie is only coming out in 2019.

Before you say that Jane Foster is an amazing scientist and one of the most intelligent people in the MCU, and that Pepper Potts has the power and the ability to run a gigantic company like Stark Industries, ask yourself this: if these women are not just love interests, where have they been for the past films? If the very purpose of their characters isn’t to be Thor’s and Tony Stark’s girlfriends, then how come they don’t get a storyline after the breakup?

KC Moore at The Bull and Bear:

What do these women  have in common with pretty much every other female character existing in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

They function as Love Interests.

Jane Foster is an accomplished astrophysicist, whose original interest in Thor is scientific. Except what’s science compared to Chris Hemsworth’s biceps, right? Gamora is a trained assassin with a perfectly valid reason to be fighting on Peter Quill’s side. She then falls prey to Quill’s “pelvic sorcery,” and it’s okay because by the end of the movie, they love each other. Pepper Potts from “Iron Man” is the only woman not repulsed by Tony Stark’s spectacular narcissism. She loves him because she sees the real him underneath all those layers of money. Too bad this doesn’t make him any less of a jerk. Betty Ross from “The Incredible Hulk” (yeah, remember that movie?) had no other purpose but to serve as an aspect of Bruce Banner’s character development. She was a pretty reminder that even though he’s an enormous green rage monster, his humanity remains intact and he is capable of attracting women. In “Ant-Man,” even though Hope is way more qualified than Scott Lang to be a hero,  her father was just trying to protect her from dying like her mother. Except by the end of the movie, she’s fallen in love with Paul Rudd and donned The Wasp suit.

Lady Sif is a warrior and a Norse deity, but the writers couldn’t leave her at that. As if being childhood friends with Thor wasn’t enough to validate her presence in the movie, they had to make her in love with him. She’s a literal goddess, she’s lived thousands of years and killed thousands of men, and she still has to cast longing looks at Chris Hemsworth and shoot Natalie Portman unfriendly, jealous glances.

Emily Asher-Perrin

In the end, Natasha Romanoff is mourned but never celebrated. The story has too far to go, and Tony Stark’s epic death undercuts her own. The film ends on his funeral, and hers is never seen, mentioned, or noted. It’s almost as though she never existed at all.

We arrive at Carol Danvers, the first female Marvel superhero to headline a film (it only took a decade…). Carol is brilliant throughout Endgame, but she’s also underused because she’s not been given any time at all to acclimate to the group setting. This is not her farewell tour, so she only shows up in special bursts, powered by fists of space-energy and little else. The same is true of Okoye, who Marvel rightfully gave top billing to, but never the screen time to match. Wanda Maximoff also shows up briefly to flex her extraordinarily powerful magic muscles, but her only stake in the film is being pissed with Thanos for killing her boyfriend Vision. All her fury gets her nowhere, which is hardly surprising because these films have never known what to do with someone as powerful as the Scarlet Witch is meant to be. She’s always getting sidelined because dealing with her true skillset would make most of the other combatants seem superfluous.

Then there’s Valkyrie, who has been in charge of New Asgard since Thor went into a spiral of depression and binge-drinking. Though the film treats the God of Thunder terribly, Valkyrie doesn’t come out of the situation any better, as she works herself to the bone to keep the ship running for the sake of the Asgardian people. By the end, Thor abdicates the throne in her favor, noting that she has already been doing the job for him, and that she’s an excellent leader. These things are true, but Valkyrie also expressed a hatred of Asgardian monarchy when Thor first met her. And more to the point, no matter how good Val is at steering their people, she is essentially being made to shoulder Thor’s burden simply because he has decided he can’t handle it anymore. Rather than offering to help her set up a new form of government, or see that the transition of power goes smoothly, he just up and leaves all of his responsibilities on her plate.

Even the final romantic nod of the entire series can ring hollow: While we’re supposed to be happy for Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter finally getting their dance on at the end of this, it’s hard not to be a little insulted over all the film is choosing to ignore in that tender moment. It is unclear if any of Peggy’s former trials will come to pass with Steve Rogers back in her life, and the idea of all of her adventures—in her own series Agent Carter and beyond—being overwritten for a life in a cute suburb with her man is frankly just as depressing as them losing one another. Peggy Carter claims to know her value, but in this moment, it’s hard to tell if the MCU knows it, or if they ever cared about it at all. Love is truly grand, but shoehorning Peggy in there for a kiss when we get no time with her at all feels like a particular kind of cheat.

Jordan Sickrey:

Betty Ross is a woman who has only ever been in one movie, and it is a movie that most people tend to forget is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. That movie would be The Incredible Hulk from 2008. Betty Ross has a PhD in cellular biology and was shown working at Culver University. She is the daughter of General Ross, though he appeared to have been promoted in Captain America: Civil War (2016).

Betty has not been talked about at all since The Incredible Hulk. She was so important to who Bruce Banner is as a person, but she has not even been mentioned once since her appearance in 2008. She was the first person to ever break through the Hulk’s mind. The Hulk was not mindless when it came to Betty Ross. Yet, she just disappeared. Even after Bruce appeared to be able to control the Hulk after the events of The Avengers (2012), there was no mention of him even calling her.

Now, her storyline is revolving around Bruce. However, Betty Ross was not just the love interest. She was able to assist a fugitive and help him escape, and she fought against her father—a general—to protect him. She was no limp noodle. She was her own character who made her own choices and stood on her own two feet. Her story did revolve around Bruce in The Incredible Hulk, but her character was not only there for Bruce.

And Marvel just made her disappear.

Rebecca Wright: 

From the first MCU films, examples of pervasive, everyday sexism have been overlooked or dismissed in the name of history. Take, for example, the moment Tony Stark meets an undercover Black Widow in Iron Man 2, stating “I want one” after their almost Weinstein-esque introduction.

Even more recent films are occasionally marred with a sense of humour that tends toward displays of toxic masculinity and casual misogyny, denoting an air of sexism the films can no longer afford. From the way the women are spoken to, to the way they are spoken of, the men of the cohort consistently undermine the female action heroes. In Captain America: Civil War, Black Panther’s female security chief warns Black Widow to “move or you will be moved”. The interaction is abated by Black Panther with the line “As entertaining as that would be…” – an all too common inference of woman on woman action to fulfill male fantasy.

In the case of 2015’s Avengers: Age of Ultron, a scene when the male Avengers each attempt to lift Thor’s hammer – an exercise in worthiness and not strength – Iron Man’s offhanded joke about reinstating prima nocta presents rape humor as permissible, in an age when it is anything but. The time is up for cheap efforts in entertainment of this nature.

(Don’t forget in The Avengers Loki called Natasha a “mewling quim” which translated means “whining cunt”.)

Kathy Banjamin at Cracked.com:

Black Widow is like the redheaded stepchild of the Avengers when it comes to stuff you can actually buy. She gets lots of screen time in the movies, which is good, but any kid who wants a toy of her is better off making one out of Play-Doh. It’s so bad that even Mark “chillest guy to ever play the Hulk” Ruffalo called Marvel out.

There’s an entire blog that does nothing but point out how Black Widow is nowhere to be found on Avenger’s merchandise. We could see some executive getting away with saying that boys wouldn’t play with a girl action figure, even though that is obviously bullshit (and what about the girls who want those action figures?).

(Note: When Avengers: Age of Ultron was released, a toy of the scene where Black Widow rides a motorcycle was released – with Captain America instead.)

And then there’s Mantis. Talk about character assassination. Literally.

Mantis exhibits all the signs of a woman who is being mistreated, but rather than save her immediately, the Guardians simply ignore it. Excited to finally meet his father, Peter is never bothered to acknowledge Mantis or her plight in any tangible way, a marked difference from the comics where Peter goes out of his way to recruit Mantis and has a positive relationship with her. As for the rest of the Guardians, they actively participate in Mantis’ abuse: not only are their insults and violence against Mantis normalized, they’re even used for comedic effect. Each of the Guardians’ actions help to enforce an idea that film Mantis has already internalized: she is worthless.

And then there’s the physical violence that Mantis suffers. When she meets Rocket Raccoon, Drax leads her to believe he’s his pet. When she reaches out to touch him, Rocket snaps around and bites into her hand; she cries out, terrified, as Drax roars with laughter. Later, when Mantis reaches out to Gamora to demonstrate her empath powers, she’s immediately grabbed by the wrists and told, “Touch me, and the only thing you’re going to feel is a broken jaw.” When Gamora finally finds out the truth about Ego’s plans, she runs up to Mantis, grabs her by the throat, slams her against the wall, and tries to choke her. Gamora never apologizes for this, and we never see any follow-up to assure us that Gamora and Mantis will have any relationship beyond these moments of animosity.

If you haven’t noticed by now, the women in the MCU never get along, while the males relationships are developed and celebrated (Steve and Bucky anyone?).

And speaking of relationships:

What tenuously binds everything together is daddy issues. The question of Star Lord’s father anchored the first film, and deserved a payoff to match. Things start with introducing Kurt Russell meeting Peter’s mother. Peter questioned his heritage in the first film, but this second movie sees Peter so hung up on his dad you’d expect to see him on a therapist’s couch. Instead, it’s the now motherly Gamora (Zoe Saldana, still pointless) who tells him to bond with his father. She’s also the one who simultaneously tells her sister Nebula (Karen Gillan) to get over her own father issues. Considering how the film presents Nebula’s hatred of her father in a way that feels like assault – he replaced parts of her with machinery against her will – the film has a very gendered look at how men and women are told to deal with their parentage. Peter gets to act like a 10-year-old and play catch with his dad; Nebula’s told “Eh, move on, girl.”

Madeleine Deliee:

And that was disappointing, particularly after all the build up of Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) as the strongest Avenger. I mean, Nick Fury paged her specifically at the end of Infinity War, making us believe she was clearly the one to stop Thanos. She was also coming off the first female-led Marvel standalone film, which meant the studio was moving toward feminism, right? Ehhh…not so much.

In Endgame, Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel felt like a guest star, popping off to handle matters elsewhere in the universe only to reappear toward the conclusion of the movie — and fail at vanquishing Thanos. Yes, it was a group effort. Yes, she spectacularly, single-handedly destroyed his ship. Yes, the guys needed her to wear Thanos down. But the message was still pretty clear: Saving the world is ultimately a man’s job. It’s tough to reconcile the way Endgame handled its female characters with what we see in daily life, as well as other onscreen representations.

But wait, I know what some of you are thinking: “What about that awesome moment when Captain Marvel is about to be destroyed and then nearly all the female characters in the MCU (except Peggy and, oddly, Sharon Carter) show up, announce they have her back, and are there to save the day?”

Well, the problem is… they don’t. Instead, we get this big “girl power” moment with a bunch of women we haven’t spent any time with…and then they’re all defeated.

Each woman is picked off by Thanos or his minions or, in the case of Captain Marvel, literally tossed aside.

Men have caught on too.

Derrick Clement’s title says it all: “The Early MCU Films Are As Sexist As The Trolls That Crashed ‘Captain Marvel'”:

The Marvel movies in “Phase 1,” as the episodes up to the first Avengers are known, established a toxic cinematic vocabulary, where sexual harassment is depicted as acceptable and funny, women are either sexualized or ignored altogether, and the male gaze dominates.

When The Avengers came out in 2012, Joss Whedon’s pseudo-feminism was celebrated, but it has since come under more scrutiny. After revisiting The Avengers this week, I’m sorry to say the red flags were there all along. Lots of male gaze, lots of dumb little jokes (like that one terribly misogynistic line Loki says) that were ignored at the time but which now seem like toxic masculinity bursting out of its leather skin of wokeness.

Steve Englehart, Mantis’ creator:

Well, I was not happy with Mantis’ portrayal. That character has nothing to do with Mantis. I really don’t know why you would take a character who is as distinctive as Mantis is and do a completely different character and still call her Mantis. That I do not know. That’s not Mantis.

Stephen Colbert:

Despite those setbacks, Marvel has plenty of female fans and for ten years they’ve been demanding one thing: a stand-alone Black Widow movie. What were Feige’s excuses? “We’re too busy to make a Black Widow movie.” “It just isn’t the right time.” “We have a lineup of films already in production.” etc, etc. Yet there have been 3 Iron Man films, 3 Thor films, 3 Captain America films, 2 Guardians of the Galaxy films, 2 Ant-Man films and soon to be 2 Spider-Man & Black Panther films. Would it have killed them to change their schedule to make room for Black Widow, She-Hulk or Elektra?

When DC said the same thing, they got this:

Never mind that the raccoon – and possibly the machine gun – are male.

And it’s not just women in front of the screen that get the short end of the stick. Women screenwriters, directors and critics have also expressed their frustration with the studio.

In 2009 screenwriter Nicole Perlman was hired by Marvel to pick a comic to adapt into a movie – and chose the then obscure Guardians of the Galaxy. She spent the next two years devouring its back catalog and drafting a story that so impressed the studio execs, they gave it the green-light – only for it to be re-written by James Gunn. One wonders how Gamora and the other female characters would’ve been presented had Perlman’s script been used.

There’s a reason why Natalie Portman no longer makes any appearances as Jane Foster in the MCU (with the exception of Avengers: Endgame, and even that’s debatable). She originally turned down Thor: The Dark World because she wanted a break from acting to spend more time with her son – until she found out that Patty Jenkins was attached to the project and what actress wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to work with a woman director? But creative differences made Jenkins leave the project, much to Portman’s dismay. Today Jenkin’s Wonder Woman is considered the “crown jewel” of superhero movies. Thor: The Dark World on the other hand…

Critic Amy Nicholson of BoxOffice.com got subjected to a ton of hateful, misogynistic comments from fanboys for not giving The Avengers a good review. While there were articles reporting the incident, no one bothered to write some think piece about “toxic fandom/masculinity”. In fact, some even excused the fans’ jerkiness simply because Nicholson misidentified Nick Fury as Nick Frost. Never mind that she was the first to point out that Steve’s, Thor’s and Bruce’s respective love interests never make an appearance or are discussed, she misidentified Nick Fury! The nerve of her!!!

And with all the talk of sexism, “toxic fandom” and “manbabies” regarding Carol Danvers, where were the accusations of misogyny when the Oscars and the Golden Globes snubbed Wonder Woman and Patty Jenkins? Why didn’t the media call out the “toxic fanboys”, “mababies” and “misogynists” for saying Wonder Woman didn’t deserve an Oscar? I felt like the only person in the world who defended WW and a bunch of jerks sent me some gif of Peter Quill flipping the bird. Classy.

We can’t call out politicians for their sexism and then be entertained by sexist Marvel. We have to be better than this.

Still confused as to how the women bloggers who call Snyder a sexist have managed not to find 1 bad thing to say about Marvel Studios
.
MCU phase 1: No woman lead, no woman directors
MCU phase 2: No woman lead, no woman directors
MCU phase 3: No woman lead, no woman directors

— Spivey (@Drexl1993) May 31, 2018

https://twitter.com/stellarcarol/status/1086576012337532928

Confusing that the MCU wants us to be horrified by the sexist men in Captain Marvel and charmed by the even more egregiously sexist Tony Stark.

— Caroline Siede (@CarolineSiede) April 13, 2019

natasha daenerys
romanoff targaryen

🤝

two of the most important women characters that two white male writers decided to kill off because they only served as a plot device to advance the stories of male heroes pic.twitter.com/0TlMuFR0ig

— ⧗ (@natsdany) May 20, 2019

Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America got three solo movies each. Natasha Romanoff has been in the MCU longer than the two latter. She deserved 3 solo movies since 2010. Sexist pigs at Marvel decide to kill her off after relentlessly sexualising her, playing her off as the hookup- https://t.co/K7WN0o5Xvf

— rach (@kiwicreatures) May 8, 2019

https://twitter.com/birdhopp/status/738378937152065539

https://twitter.com/punktonystark/status/628373289287725056

Why I’m Leaving the Star Wars Fandom

Rest assured I still love Star Wars. I will always love Star Wars.

But I don’t like Star Wars fans. Not anymore. At least not on the internet. I no longer associate with the pro-Disney faction or the anti-Disney faction. Both sides have become stuck up and rude and I’ve had it.

I’ve had it with the pro-Disney side, who use lame arguments to support Disney’s shoddy treatment of Lucas’ legacy. Arguments like labeling antis as bigots who feel threatened by women/gays/non-whites. Using ageist arguments to excuse Luke & Han’s character assassinations. The ones who say there’s no right way to be a Star Wars fan. How can a true Star Wars fan ignore the way Disney constantly tells us that only the OT & ST matter (just look at the recent Celebration poster)? Saying things like: “this film wasn’t made for you. It’s for a new generation.” Well the first trilogy wasn’t made for adults and it became a hit with all ages. The second trilogy wasn’t made for adults and it appealed to all ages. I weep for the new generation that is growing up with this trilogy. I am also appalled with the Reylo shippers that want Rey to hook up with main villain Kylo Ren – the Darth Aardvark that murdered her mentor before her very eyes, strapped her to a chair and tried to mind rape her. The butt ugly dark side user who throws tantrums whenever he fails.  How anyone can one minute label Anakin and Padme’s marriage as abusive then swoon over the idea of Reylo the next disgusts me.

I feel sad that Bryan Young, Geek Girl Diva or Amy Ratcliffe are no longer the people I once read, listened to or corresponded with. They’ve fallen so far off the deep end that I no longer recognize them.

But I’m starting to get fed up with the Disney critical Star Warriors that I once followed on Twitter or WordPress. What was once honest, in-depth criticism of corporate vampirism, has now turned into an excuse to bash feminism or ignore real injustice simply because Kennedy is using feminism as a front for her lousy films. Fans that tweet, post videos or articles examining, say, the box office failure of Solo or the declining sales of Star Wars action figures also tweet or post videos discrediting the existence of rape culture, proclaims feminism as irrational misandry (despite mounting evidence that suggest otherwise) and act oblivious to the rising threats of transgenderism, male violence, pornography, prostitution, child brides and FGM (one Twitter user even told me “that never happens here” – in the US – but it does, far more often than we realize). Then there are those EU/ Legends fans who use their platform to hurl potshots at the 2008 Clone Wars and Dave Filoni because they think it contradicts their beloved canon (and because he also produced Rebels) – even though Lucas himself created and executive produced the show and came up with most of the ideas (such as bringing back Darth Maul). Dave Filoni has always been respectful of the EU and always gives it credit. When I tweeted that I liked both series I was mocked so I unfollowed.

But the final straw for me was when two anti-Last Jedi Star Warriors made fun of the recent Gillete commercial addressing toxic masculinity. One of them did it because some comic book writer praised the commercial.

What does any of this have to do with Star Wars or Rian Johnson? Rian Johnson is no feminist. He’s not even an ally. Kathleen Kennedy is not a feminist. She’s just another Hollywood player who treats feminism as the latest fad or trend. The real feminists are not wringing their hands over how many female characters will show up in Episode IX. They’re out there fighting against the very things I listed earlier. I’ve even met radical feminists who liked the prequels. As someone who’s suffered from misogyny most of my life seeing tweets like this hurts me and makes me feel like the injustices I suffered don’t matter (in other words: get over it – #NotAllMen).

There was nothing anti-man about the Gillette ad. If anything, Luke Skywalker, Yoda, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon would’ve approved because throughout the saga, they practiced the very same things depicted in the commercial. Qui-Gon broke up a fight between Anakin and Greedo and saw potential in Jar Jar Binks. Yoda said “Wars (i.e. violence) make not one great.” Han assured Leia – without resorting to slut-shaming or sarcasm – that he would step aside when Luke came back. Obi-Wan told Anakin that he loved him. These are examples of true masculinity.

The Sequel Trilogy IS About Toxic Masculinity

The Gillette ad encouraged men – particularly fathers – to stand up for those that can’t defend themselves, i.e. women and children. The men of the sequel trilogy are the opposite: Luke contemplates killing his nephew because of a “feeling” (why does this sound so familiar?). Then hides away on an island to mope. Han abandons his marriage and his duties to the New Republic because of his wayward son. Finn asks Rey after they’ve just met, if she has a boyfriend (why didn’t he just ask her if she was an angel?) And Yoda? Pffft! This is not true masculinity. These are not the men George Lucas created to inspire little boys to be the best a man can get. The men I grew up with and admired, even though they’re fictional.

The new women of Star Wars are nowhere near Leia, Padme, Ahsoka or Mara as feminist icons. They don’t undergo any character growth, they don’t earn their heroism. They’re Mary Sues. That is not feminist.

So from now on, whenever I tweet Star Wars, it’ll be something I type into the search bar or I’ll post my own tweet. This blog will only focus on the Star Wars made when Lucas was in charge, from the OT to the CW. The Phantom Menace‘s 20th anniversary is approaching and I’m going to celebrate in a positive way. I will no longer follow any Star Wars accounts, not even the official Star Wars Twitter. I don’t want to even acknowledge Disney Wars positively or negatively.

But to end on a lighter note, I’ll eventually buy that Queen Amidala Itty Bitty.

UPDATE: Since the posting of this article, I’ve deactivated my account on Twitter and I’m not looking back.

 

 

Let’s Break Down This Article By Kelly Marie Tran, Shall We?

Kelly Marie/Loan Tran, the Vietnamese-American actress who left Instagram supposedly because of online harassment recently broke her silence by penning this article in The New York Times. You can read it here.

Forgive me for sounding callous, but I’m just not buying into her story. Here’s why.

Let’s look at the first sentence:

It wasn’t their words, it’s that I started to believe them.

Who’s words exactly have made you doubt your self-worth, Ms. Tran? Can you provide some examples? Some screen shots of these “words”? Or can you at least give a description of these “trolls”?

Their words seemed to confirm what growing up as a woman and a person of color already taught me: that I belonged in margins and spaces, valid only as a minor character in their lives and stories.

Again, whose “lives and stories” are you talking about: Star Warriors? The Star Wars franchise? Please be specific because right now, the Star Wars community is becoming a marginalized group all its own. I can’t tell you how many internet articles – from the MSM and personal blogs – that are painting Star Warriors as nasty “trolls” and “incels” and “boys stuck in their parent’s basement”, a depiction thats really unfair to fans and those with legitimate grievances with Disney’s handling of the franchise. It would be helpful if you, Ms. Tran, would assure the public that we’re not all like that.

And those words awakened something deep inside me — a feeling I thought I had grown out of. The same feeling I had when at 9, I stopped speaking Vietnamese altogether because I was tired of hearing other kids mock me. Or at 17, when at dinner with my white boyfriend and his family, I ordered a meal in perfect English, to the surprise of the waitress, who exclaimed, “Wow, it’s so cute that you have an exchange student!”

You’re not alone in this, Ms. Tran. I too was mocked as a child for having an overbite, for being skinny and for having thick hair. And this bullying came from children of all ethnicities because, you see, I’m a mixed-race woman who’s racially ambiguous. Like the waitress you mentioned, I’ve been mistaken for Hispanic, Asian and Native American. I’ve had people come up to me speaking Spanish only  to get from me a blank stare because I don’t speak the language. One Hispanic man even expressed offense that I didn’t speak Spanish. I’ve had to say in my broken Spanish, “no Latina, Mulatta!” to strangers. I’ve had people come up to me and ask me, “what are you?” Don’t even get me started on one incident where a haughty black girl asked me which parent was the black one/ white one, to which she declared: “you have a black mother and a white father? Mmmm, that’s a first!” Or the time a Mexican girl hated me so much, she shouted that she wanted to beat me up and pull out all my “nappy hair”. Then there’s been that dilemma every mixed person had to face regarding marking your identity on forms where you’re told to “please mark only one”. When I would mark myself as black and white I (and my brother) were automatically categorized as “African-American” and denied certain educational opportunities. So I decided to mark myself as white only. Until I heard about affirmative action. Now whenever I fill out a form, I skip the racial identity part. And the misogyny I faced from boys and grown men, oh lord, that’s a subject for another post, which is why I’m more passionate about sexism than racism.

Because the same society that taught some people they were heroes, saviors,taught me I existed only in the background of their stories, doing their nails, diagnosing their illnesses, supporting their love interests — and perhaps the most damaging — waiting for them to rescue me.

Their stories? Have you looked into the stories of your own culture and continent Ms. Tran? Have you ever seen any of the films of Akira Kurosawa? Or Hayao Miyazaki? Have you seen the original Godzilla/Gojira? Have you read the Joy Luck Club or any of Amy Tan’s other books? Or the books of Lisa See? Have you seen Snow Flower and the Secret Fan? Or the 1985 gem, Dim Sum: A Little Bit of Heart? Have you ever checked out Advantageous, a 2015 sci-fi film made by two Korean women, I just can’t praise enough? Did you know Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon still holds the record for the highest-grossing foreign language film of all time? Have you forgotten about Disney’s Mulan which is currently celebrating its 20th anniversary? And let’s not forget that right now, Crazy, Rich Asians is currently #1 at the box office. Are you familiar with beloved Asian characters like Sulu? Melinda May? Katana? Number Eight? Samurai Jack? Silvermist? Or Star Wars characters like Jan Ors and Bultar Swan? I could go on and on with examples.

And why do people think that nail salons are racist because they’re all owned and run by Asian women? These women were not forced into nail care, they want to work on people’s nails. Women (and some men) of all backgrounds go to nail salons for mani/pedicures. I got a manicure and a pedicure recently for health reasons and I learned that you have to go to beauty school for 3 years to operate a nail salon. It’s not a sweat shop.

I had been brainwashed into believing that my existence was limited to the boundaries of another person’s approval. I had been tricked into thinking that my body was not my own, that I was beautiful only if someone else believed it, regardless of my own opinion. I had been told and retold this by everyone: by the media, by Hollywood, by companies that profited from my insecurities, manipulating me so that I would buy their clothes, their makeup, their shoes, in order to fill a void that was perpetuated by them in the first place.

Now this is something I can get behind: it was HOLLYWOOD, the MEDIA, and the COSMETIC companies that brainwashed her into believing that she had to look a certain way in order to spend money. This is something ALL WOMEN, regardless of color can relate to. From childhood to adolescence and beyond, girls and women are told that we’re not pretty enough, not lovable enough to live. That we must lose this much weight, wear this type of clothing, wear our hair like this, buy this brand of lipstick to be loved. There are so many statistics to prove this that it would take all day to provide links to them, however here’s one article to prove Kelly’s point.

But, again, who’s the one group Ms. Tran doesn’t name. You guessed it, Star Wars fans.

This is what it is to grow up as a person of color in a white-dominated world.

Excuse me, since when has the world ever been “white dominated”? Is Asia dominated by white people? What about South America? Is Mexico white dominated? Is all of Africa, white dominated? No. And the only white domination in Antarctica is the snow.

These are the thoughts that run through my head every time I pick up a script or a screenplay or a book. I know the opportunity given to me is rare. I know that I now belong to a small group of privileged people who get to tell stories for a living, stories that are heard and seen and digested by a world that for so long has tasted only one thing. I know how important that is. And I am not giving up.

I think if you really want to tell the stories you want to tell, Ms. Tran, you’ll have to give up acting and get behind the camera because there’s real power there. You are the puppet master instead of the puppet. You should take up producing, directing or – most importantly – screenwriting because we sure could use a lot more women screenwriters in Hollywood. In the meantime I hope you’ll find better roles after Star Wars because you certainly deserved better. Fans didn’t hate you, they hated Rose Tico and most of the vitrol was aimed at her: a frumpy, poorly written character who served no purpose except as a shoehorned in love interest to Finn because execs didn’t want him with Rey or Poe.

I also suspect that because the Star Wars community’s interest in the franchise is waning, Disneyfilm made you the sacrificial lamb in their planned backlash against the fans. It’s telling that news of you leaving social media dropped after Solo bombed at the box office and you break your silence on the heels of the first Star Wars Resistance trailer and these curious Lucasfilm trailers. I suspect you didn’t even write this piece, someone at Lucasfilm or Disney wrote it under your name.

I am the first Asian woman to appear on the cover of Vanity Fair.

First of all what does that have to do with anything? Did Vanity Fair pay you to give them a plug? Second, if you are the first Asian woman on the cover of the fashion magazine, maybe you should’ve written an open letter to the magazine on why it took so long to have an Asian woman on the cover (and publish it in The New York Times after your issue hit newsstands). Now that’s an article I would like to read.

I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into this, Ms. Tran. I wish you nothing but success in your acting career.

Oh, and I’m still not seeing Episode IX.

I’m Not Surprised About James Gunn Getting Fired From Marvel

In fact, I had to smirk. It was a long time coming.

But it’s disgusting how all these celebs and fans are coming to the “disgraced” director’s defense with these lame excuses. Let’s look at some of them.

1. He was only joking, he wasn’t engaging in pedophilia.

Those tweets are no joke to the victims of childhood sexual abuse. In fact Gunn’s nasty humor is an example of “pedophilia culture”, when society normalizes, enables and celebrates sexual behavior involving children or teenagers. This includes movies, TV shows, music videos and porn. It also includes fashion and beauty ads that promote the ideal female (and sometimes male) body as prepubescent. And tasteless tweets like the ones Gunn posted.

2. Disney is no better, just look at Song of the South.

Song of the South is a 1946 animated/live action film about a white little boy who seeks advise from Uncle Remus, a black sharecropper who uses stories about “Br’er Rabbit”, “Br’er Fox” and “Br’er Bear” to help the little boy with his problems. Gunn’s supporters are comparing this 72 year old film made during a time when racism was common, to some 10 year old tweets, a 40 something Gunn made. That’s a pretty big age gap and not only that, Disney has announced over and over again, that SOTS is an old shame they will keep in their vaults and never release to the public.

3. Gunn was a different person 10 years ago, he’s changed!

I can expect this kind of behavior from a school age boy, but not a man in his 40s. What grown man makes such disgusting jokes publicly? Did you make pedophilia jokes 10 years ago?

James Gunn hasn’t changed. Never did, never will.

Long before Gunn was hired to direct Guardians of the Galaxy, girl geeks unearthed a list he typed of female superheroes he’d like to bed. It isn’t pretty. (Not surprisingly, the writer of the post asked readers to write to Disney to fire Gunn from GOTG.) Of course Gunn took down the post and issued an apology. However, when GOTG was released in 2014, it appeared that Gunn didn’t learn his lesson. The same old sexism was there, as pointed out by some critics.

Lady Geek Girl and Friends:

For one thing, it literally started with a lady getting fridged. Peter’s mom dies to give him angst throughout the rest of the movie, and then Drax brings our “fridged for your manpain” death count up to three with his wife and daughter. Women are also used as props: for example, shortly after escaping from the planet where he found the orb, Peter realizes his hookup from the night before is still on board his ship. Her presence and the tired “what was your name again” repartee are there entirely to establish Peter’s playboy status. I was surprised and pleased, though, that the scene in the trailer which seemed to imply that Gamora and Peter hooked up mid-movie was not actually included in the film.

But the fact that there was a hookup scene to begin with is still bothersome.

Andrea Morgan:

Melia Kreiling portrays Bereet, a vaguely-alien humanoid whose key scene involves Quill shamelessly admitting to forgetting her existence even though they’d recently had sex. In the next scene, she speaks broken English and is servile to Quill; it struck me as an extraterrestrial variation of the Asian girlfriend trope. This was one of the few moments in the film where I actually didn’t like Pratt’s character. Unfortunately, this a-girl-in-every-spaceport sexism is leaned on for laughs throughout the film. Pratt is still playing a heterosexual white male lead, and Gunn won’t let you forget it.

 There is a female character credited only as Tortured Pink Girl (Laura Ortiz). For some reason, Benicio Del Toro plays the sadistic Collector (kind of an older, huskier Ziggy Stardust), with whom Quill seeks to do business. We see that the Collector has enslaved at least two women; both are displayed in pigtails and pink jumpers. One is forced to wash the glass cage of the other. The woman in the cage is on her knees, bound and gagged with electric ropes, a clear look of pain and fear in her eyes.

Quill and crew are less concerned with the fate of the women than with money and exposition. When the uncaged woman, Carina (Ophelia Lovibond), desperately attempts to use the power of an ancient artifact to free herself, she’s immolated instead. We’re left to assume that the other captive woman is also killed in the subsequent cataclysm.

Things didn’t get any better in the 2017 sequel. Clara Mae had this to say about the character assassination of Mantis:

Whereas in the comics Mantis is a celestial goddess, in GOTG2 she’s simply a servant to a celestial god, Ego, Peter Quill’s father. Stripped of her powers and physical strength, we are explicitly told that Mantis is only an empath, and that she travels with Ego to “help him sleep.” Just sit with that for a second: in the comics, Mantis is a young Asian woman who’s trained from birth as a skilled fighter, becomes an Avenger, and eventually transforms into a goddess. In the film, Mantis is an infantile, wide-eyed Asian woman who is introduced as the servant to an old white man who she calls master. The white man raises her and keeps her by his side so she can use her skills to put him to sleep. She’s clearly afraid of him, and it’s revealed that she’s never interacted with anyone outside of her master. This relationship has horrendous connotations, and it’s a wonder why Gunn completely rewrote Mantis’ backstory to include this. It’s the exact kind of demeaning Asian woman trope that comics Mantis herself avoided, so why is it in GOTG2?

 

Mantis exhibits all the signs of a woman who is being mistreated, but rather than save her immediately, the Guardians simply ignore it. Excited to finally meet his father, Peter is never bothered to acknowledge Mantis or her plight in any tangible way, a marked difference from the comics where Peter goes out of his way to recruit Mantis and has a positive relationship with her. As for the rest of the Guardians, they actively participate in Mantis’ abuse: not only are their insults and violence against Mantis normalized, they’re even used for comedic effect. Each of the Guardians’ actions help to enforce an idea that film Mantis has already internalized: she is worthless.

We see this a lot in Mantis’ troubling relationship with Drax, who is the only one of the Guardians who even remotely attempts to interact with Mantis, but half of those interactions involve Drax insulting Mantis’ appearance. Later, when Mantis rushes to his room in a panic to warn him about Ego’s evil plan, he automatically assumes Mantis is there for sex, to which he exaggeratedly makes retching noises about.

And then there’s the physical violence that Mantis suffers. When she meets Rocket Raccoon, Drax leads her to believe he’s his pet. When she reaches out to touch him, Raccoon snaps around and bites into her hand; she cries out, terrified, as Drax roars with laughter. Later, when Mantis reaches out to Gamora to demonstrate her empath powers, she’s immediately grabbed by the wrists and told, “Touch me, and the only thing you’re going to feel is a broken jaw.” When Gamora finally finds out the truth about Ego’s plans, she runs up to Mantis, grabs her by the throat, slams her against the wall, and tries to choke her. Gamora never apologizes for this, and we never see any follow-up to assure us that Gamora and Mantis will have any relationship beyond these moments of animosity.

“But what about Gamora?” you may ask. “She’s a strong female character. She’s the most dangerous woman in the universe.” Is she? Not according to Dylan Dembrow:

When they’re planning their prison break, Rocket proposes that Gamora use her body to make a trade with the male guards to aid in their escape. Later, Drax the Destroyer flat out refers to Gamora as a “green wh**e.” This makes little sense considering that Drax is a literalist, and he’s had no reason to believe Gamora has worked in this capacity in the past.

The Gamora we often get in the MCU is more bark than bite. She certainly comes across as an intimidating force thanks to Zoe Saldana’s powerful performance, but when she’s actually engaged in battle with an enemy, Gamora often ends up on the losing side.

Outside of engaging in combat, doing a bit of heavy lifting, and being able to jump really far in a pinch, Gamora powers seem diminished to nothing more than some boosted strength. What’s more, is that her strength and fighting skills haven’t been all that impressive to date, with even Peter getting the better of her during a skirmish.

So much for being one of the most dangerous women in existence.

Or Hugh Armitage:

The MCU’s Gamora has been too much defined by the men in her life, minimising her own narrative for the sake of Star-Lord (Chris Pratt) and later, Thanos (Josh Brolin).

Gamora’s main narrative in the Guardians films was about Peter Quill seducing her. The film falls into all the old, well-worn clichés, reducing Gamora to a damsel in distress dying in space so that Peter can save her. How much more interesting it would have been for her to save him for a change, and it would have made more sense considering that she is manifestly tougher and more reliable than our designated hero.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2 continues the theme, with Peter convincing her to like his music and dance with him. Maybe it’s just not her thing – leave her alone, you creep.

Yet despite these criticisms – or maybe because of them – Guardians of the Galaxy became the highest grossing film of 2014 and Volume 2 got an Oscar nomination for… something, thus proving that if you’re not not disgusted, you’re not paying attention.

Firing James Gunn from Guardians 3 will not doom the franchise. They can always rehire Nicole Perlman (who wrote the script for the 1st movie, only for it to get rewritten) to write the script. There are other qualified directors to hire (like Taika Waititi or even a woman director). Critics are so enamored of the MCU (or at least bribed to like it), they’ll give GOTG 3 a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

While Karma continues its rampage.

 

 

Ladies, I’m Worried About Her Universe

Note: This post was first written in June so the numbers may have changed.

Recently I watched the 2018 Her Universe Fashion Show on YouTube. While I was impressed with the creativity and hard work put into these geeky haute courture designs, it reminded me of something I’ve been noticing over at the company lately.

There’s a lot of Disney clothes and accessories.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Her Universe, it’s a fashion company launched by Star Wars actress Ashley Eckstein, dedicated to fighting the stereotype that science fiction is for boys. On the site girls and women can shop for clothes and accessories mostly inspired by Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel and Doctor Who. I wasn’t a regular customer but once and awhile a shirt  would catch my fancy and I’d buy it, like this one:

this one:

and this one:

 

However, it’s come to my attention recently that Her Universe may be slowly drifting away from its original mission. The flames of doubt were lit when I saw this summary of Ashley’s new book It’s Your Universe:

Ashley Eckstein grew up inspired by all things Disney. She launched Her Universe, an apparel company catering to fan girls, which has become a preferred partner for Disney and their girl power initiative. In IT’S YOUR UNIVERSE, Ashley shares her own life lessons, as well as lessons from iconic Disney characters, as a way to inspire girls to create big dreams and work to make them a reality. Ashley tells her story of being a little girl dreaming of being on a Disney stage, voicing the first female Jedi, Ahsoka Tano, and starting Her Universe, a blockbuster clothing line and community for fangirls. With prompts for journal entries and quotes from iconic Disney characters, Ashley shows how princesses, Jedi, and super heroes were great role models for choosing her own path.

Disney! Disney! Disney! All it talks about is Disney! What a stark contrast from this 2010 video introducing Her Universe:

No shout-out to princesses what so ever. And the clothes in the video is Star Wars, Star Wars, STAR WARS! Because, of course, Ashley got her big break with Star Wars: The Clone Wars. 

Now here’s Her Universe’s current merchandise line up. As I click on “New Arrivals” I tallied for each category:

Disney: 59 items

Star Wars: 57 items

Marvel: 28 items

Misc.: 23 items

Studio Ghibli: 17 items

Doctor Who: 3 items

Star Trek: 1 item

As you can see, Disney took the top spot with the most items while Star Trek and Doctor Who came in last.

Then I clicked on “Shop By License”: Star Wars takes the lead with 264 results thanks to The Last Jedi (porg merch) and Solo. Disney comes in 2nd with 198 results. Marvel comes in third at 140. Next is Studio Ghibli at 72. Doctor Who has 40 results. Wonder Woman comes in at 6th with 34 results, while Star Trek is left again in the dust with a measly 9 results. While I breathed a sigh of relief that Star Wars is still the “face” of the company, the percentage is, by a rough estimate, 80% ST, 20% OT and 10% PT thanks to Ahsoka merchandise (note: with SW:TCW in its 10th anniversary, that’s jumped to 273 results). But don’t be surprised if Disney merch soon eclipses the Galaxy Far, Far Away.

Now I’m not saying that girls and women can’t express their undying love for Disney in their wardrobe. I’m just saying that it doesn’t challenge societal expectations. Nobody bats an eye when a girl expresses her love for all things Disney. Nobody says “girls don’t like Disney” because Disney has always appealed to girls. More than half of Disney movies feature female protagonists. The Disney Princess brand has made billions of dollars in toys, costumes, clothing, school supplies and anything else you can slap an Ariel or a Cinderella on. There’s also Tinkerbell and the Disney Fairies and Minnie Mouse. Female visitors to Disneyland can get princess makeovers. Disney caters to girls so much that boys started to complain about it and they introduced pirate makeovers. If I wanted Disney fashions and jewelry I could just go to my nearest Hot Topic, Target, Box Lunch or the Disney Store.

And as for the Studio Ghibli stuff, I don’t even think that’s much of a fangirl stretch either because the majority of their films are about female protagonists (because of this, Hayao Miyazaki is considered an ally among feminists).

But people have said that comics, Star Wars, Star Trek and Doctor Who are for boys and girls have had to prove otherwise, over and over again. Again, Her Universe was supposed to subvert that mindset, right? In fact my biggest pet peeve with HU is that they never expanded their line to include other IPs like The Twilight Zone, Babylon 5, Alien, Planet of the Apes, Lord of the Rings, Xena: Warrior Princess, The Outer Limits, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Battlestar Galactica, Forbidden Planet, Jurassic Park, heck, even Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I once sent an email suggesting Xena merch but so far, nothing’s come of it). Perhaps we, the Fangirls, should follow my example by speaking up and demanding new sci-fi centered merch. But if we shrug our shoulders and ignore it, Her Universe could become Her Disney.

May the Force be with us all…

 

 

 

 

A Reply To “For the Sake of Fandom, Sanity and Star Wars”

On Monday, Coffee With Kenobi published a an article written by Lisa Dullard titled “For the Sake of Fandom, Sanity and Star Wars.” It is yet another plea for civility and kindness in the fandom post- Lucas. On Twitter, it has 18 retweets and 39 likes.

Yes, I agree civility is very important. Rest assured I would never berate, bully or hurt another fan’s feelings for liking The Force Awakens, Rogue One or The Last Jedi (heck, I helped a grandmother look for Rey and Phasma toys at Toys R US once). I do not blame the actors working on those films for the awfulness of those films. They were just doing their jobs.

But this article made me angry in so many ways I had to write this post immediately in response.Here’s what Ms. Dullard says in the first paragraph:

What I don’t understand is the constant drumbeat of negativity in fandom. It’s been there to some extent for a number of years, bubbling away. Most recently it’s become unglued, in my observation.

Rrrriiiiiggghhhttt.

From 1999 to 2015 I couldn’t pick up a magazine, be it Entertainment Weekly or Starlog, and not see some SW article bashing Lucas and the Prequels. I couldn’t look at any internet video or article referencing SW without the usual swipe at the Prequels (and to a lesser extent, the Special Editions). To this day the fake media continues the lie that all Star Warriors hate the Prequels. Even when Christopher Lee passed away, an obituary on RogerEbert.com had to call the prequels “dire” despite the fact that Lee admitted himself that he enjoyed working on them. And let’s not forget (as much as we want to) that horrendous “documentary” The People Vs. George Lucas.

I can’t believe that a certain subset of the Star Wars community – particularly those who run sites and podcasts – are now stepping up to the plate to defend some fans’ right to enjoy the current crop of Disney-made Star Wars films. But for nearly 21 years these same people were nowhere to be found when Star Warriors like me had to put up continuously with SE hate, prequel hate, EU hate, even Clone Wars hate from “unglued” fans who dared, DARED to equate the ’90s/’00s era of SW to rape. Where was the call for civility then?

Where were you when I needed you?

That’s why I find people’s recent attitudes so distressing. The attacks, not only on the films and the creatives behind them, but also on fellow fans who might feel differently, are just wrong.

Really? Were you distressed about Simon Pegg’s long running attitude about George Lucas and the PT (F.Y.I. Full of Sith came to his defense at one time)? Did you cringe when Wil Wheaton took an opportunity to publicly trash the PT at the premier of Rogue One? Did you see this man’s tweet?

And is it really the TLJ haters who are the bullies here? Look at how the media is smearing anyone who hated their precious Disney movie:

3 Ways Crybaby Star Wars Fans Are Trying To Ruin The Last Jedi For Everyone Else

Let’s Face It, You Hate The Last Jedi Because You Hate Women

Other’s are writing silly little “think pieces” analyzing TLJ hate because they just can’t wrap their minds around the fact that audiences disagree with critics:

The Backlash Against Star Wars: The Last Jedi Explained

Just How Seriously Should We Take This Star Wars: The Last Jedi Backlash?

Remember, these are the same people who sided with OT purists and never called them crybabies, bigots or losers.

And these “attacks” on the new films aren’t just a matter of taste, they’re a matter of principle. This trilogy has to be the most cynical trilogy in all of Star Wars history. It’s telling audiences – particularly children – that everything your heroes achieved in the first trilogy was a waste of time. The people you looked up to – Han, Luke and Leia – are failures that have to be killed off for a new generation of characters whose only personality traits are their skin color and sex. First The Force Awakens turns Han into a deadbeat dad – only to kill him off. Then The Last Jedi turns Luke into a snarky, apathetic coward – only to kill him off. A far cry from the men of Eps 4-6 who were willing to sacrifice their lives for the ones they loved. What lessons are these films teaching our kids?

What lesson will the upcoming Han Solo movie teach our children?

Now with Solo: A Star Wars Story, it’s all about how Alden Ehrenreich doesn’t look like Harrison Ford. How dare he! Seriously? He’s not meant to be Harrison, he’s meant to be Han Solo. As great as he was in the role, Harrison isn’t really Han, and he’d be the first to tell you that. Why not give Alden the room and support to put his stamp on the character? After all, he is playing a version of Han Harrison never did. It’s okay if it’s different.

Everyone is so willing, without hesitation, to embrace Donald Glover — who will be amazing as Lando, no doubt about it — but Alden is met with seemingly nothing but skepticism. I know, were I in Alden’s shoes, I’d be feeling a bit deflated right about now. I’m sure he busted his posterior to get his performance just right, and this should be an exciting time for him. Instead, fans gripe about how he looks or sounds and how he isn’t good enough. Is that really how we want to be?

Gee, I haven’t embraced Donald Glover as Lando Calrissian. Why have Lando in this movie when he still hasn’t shown up in Eps. 7-9? What happened to him after the Battle of Endor? I don’t think I want to know because they’ll just get Darth Aardvark to kill him off anyway.

Harrison Ford originated the role of Han Solo. He’s who we think of when we picture Han Solo. When we’re reading any printed SW story about Han Solo we read his lines in Harrison’s voice. If Burt Reynolds had been cast as Han, we’d feel the same way. It’s OK to cast different actors to play James Bond, Superman or Philip Marlowe because those characters began in literature. But guess what, there’s a physical requirement for those characters too. No one will accept a black James Bond (not even Idris Elba), an ugly Superman (*cough* Nicholas Cage *cough*) or a female Philip Marlowe because that’s not how the authors wrote them. 

But Star Wars didn’t start off as a book. It’s a visual medium.

George Lucas cast Harrison Ford because he read the script with a mix of mercenary swagger and world weariness. Sure, I could picture someone else voicing Han in a radio program or an animated feature. But that’s because Han is drawn/ designed to resemble…Harrison Ford! The actors voicing the character mimic Ford’s voice.

Now you may be wondering how I can accept Ewan McGregor as young Obi-Wan or Sean Patrick Flanery as young Indiana Jones but not Alden Ehrenreich as young Han Solo? Because there’s a bigger age gap between the first two characters. The Phantom Menace takes place 32 years before A New Hope. There’s a 28 year gap between The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles and Raiders of the Lost Ark. But Solo: A Star Wars Story looks like another lead up to A New Hope. There isn’t enough of an age gap. Harrison Ford was 33 when he was cast in ANH, Alden Ehrenreich is 28. That’s only 5 years apart. Not very convincing.

Another thing to keep in mind as we head toward Solo: Reserve judgment. We’ve seen around two minutes of footage and a few photos. That’s a far cry from seeing the finished product. Give Ron Howard, the cast, and crew a chance to deliver on their promise of a fun, exciting movie experience!

Well I saw the Super Bowl trailer and frankly, it looks like another forgettable Disney Star Wars project like the last three. Ron Howard’s last film (Heart of the Sea) was a massive flop. And why waste money on a film about Han’s early adventures when you could honor A.C. Crispin’s memory and pick up a copy (or copies) of The Han Solo Trilogy?

Anyway, I don’t know if anyone will read this, but if you did, I hope you’ll get comfort in knowing that it’s OK to publicly criticize The Last Jedi and Solo. I hope you’ll get comfort in knowing that it’s OK to pretend the Disney buyout never happened. The one bright spot in all this is that the days of prequel-bashing are coming to an end as more and more fans realize that Star Wars isn’t Star Wars without George Lucas.

For the sake of our fandom and our sanity, let’s uphold the Star Wars that truly matters.

May the Force Be With You.