Tag Archives: Alien

5 “Alien” Crossovers That Need to Happen

Back in 1989, Dark Horse Comics published a story that had the antagonists of Alien meet the titular antagonists of Predator. From then on, the beasts battled bloodily in 36 more titles. Bet you didn’t know, that some of those crossovers included meetings with other characters like Batman (Batman/Aliens), Superman (Superman and Batman Versus Aliens and Predator Superman/Aliens), The Terminator (Aliens Versus Predator Versus The Terminator), Judge Dredd (Predators vs. Judge Dredd vs. Aliens) and Green Lantern (Green Lantern Versus Aliens). It doesn’t seem like there’ll be anymore crossovers in the near future (though the Predator was “lucky” enough to make an appearance in an Archie comic) which sucks because there’s so many juicy stories just waiting to burst out of the minds of writers involving the xenomorphs we all know and fear. So in honor of Alien Day, let’s look at some possible storylines for future Alien comics.

Alien vs. Jurassic Park

A Nightmare 65 Million Years In the Making. 

Back in 2012 there was a comic called Dinosaurs vs Aliens which depicted an extraterrestrial invasion in the Cretaceous Period (no affliation with Jurassic Park or the Alien franchise). Guess who won? So it only makes sense to have xenomorphs facing off (and bursting out of) against one of Earth’s most alien creatures. Are xenomorphs and velociraptors that different? It takes a lot of stealth to stay one step ahead of both species – who hunt in groups and answer to a matriarch. Or picture coming face to face with a xenomorph T. rex. Uh-oh.

Taking place after the events of Jurassic Park, the corporation that bribed Dennis Nedry still wants to cash in on John Hammond’s idea of a dinosaur park. They send in a team of wranglers, scientists and an agent to investigate Isla Nublar and possibly secure the island for themselves. During the investigation they come across a nest of suspicious looking eggs and the corpse of a T. rex with a gaping hole in its side…Will life find a way out of this one?

Star Wars/Aliens

Somewhere, in space, screaming could be happening right now.

I can picture this one written by Joe Schreiber thanks to his SW novels Death Troopers, Red Harvest and Darth Maul: Lockdown. However, I would prefer the story to take place during the Old Republic era because the thought of sith (before the Rule of Two) fighting xenomorphs – who are impervious to the Force – sounds dark, scary and exciting. Also it’s a good excuse to give Star Wars back into the hands (hooves?) of Dark Horse – for awhile.

Archie vs. Alien

There are some places in Riverdale you don’t go alone.

Look, Archie has to meet the Predator’s greatest rival sooner or later: somehow some xenomorph eggs end up in the school’s science lab. When a curious Dilton Doily or Moose Mason investigates he gets attacked by a face hugger, then during lunch students watch in horror as a chestburster eats its way out of Moose or Dilton and runs off. Because no one knows where it went all of Riverdale High is on lockdown until animal control finds the creature. By the time 6th period rolls around, more than half the faculty and a majority of the student body are dead. Is Archie, Jughead, Reggie, Betty and Veronica among the victims?

Aliens/War of the Worlds

They’re Already Here.

This version is the 2005 film directed by Steven Spielberg. Say whatever you want about the movie, you can’t deny that it captured the horror and suspense of Wells’ immortal novel. What happens when one of the “Martians” harvesting human victims accidentally pick up some xeno eggs and takes them aboard its tripod?

Jonah Hex vs. Aliens

Who says xenos can’t show up in the past and who better to come face to face with in the Old West than DC’s greatest gunslinger Jonah Hex? How will a man with less developed technology stand against these formidable “demons” in the desert wilderness? Can you imagine scenes where Hex has to hide out in a cave only to find one hanging above him? Or a panel where he sees some rock paintings bearing an eerie resemblance to the xenos? We may even get a glimpse of a xenomorph horse or, even better, a xenomorph alligator!

This is the Lady From Planet X, signing off. Happy Alien Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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18 Signs You’re Obsessed With the “Alien” Franchise

Today is Alien Day! The “holiday” was introduced last year to commemorate the second film’s 30th anniversary. Since the asteroid the xenomorph eggs were found on was called LV426, it made sense to use the date 4/26 to celebrate everyone’s favorite horror-sci-fi franchise (take that 4/20 potheads!) much in the same way we celebrate May the Fourth. To take part in this celebration, I’m going to read your mind and reveal to you how you express your “love” for the Alien movies. Let’s begin shall we?

  • Whenever you send your naughty child to the corner of the house you put a life-size replica of the xenomorph complete with a second mouth that moves in and out in front of him/her.

Image result for ripley and alien gif

                    Go sit in the corner and think about what you did! (Source: Imgur)

  • You took up pole-dancing just so you can perform in a xenomorph costume.

       Then you perform your routine in front of your orange tabby, who just hisses.

  • You buy more than one cart of xenomorph eggs so that one day you can cook them and serve them to your husband for breakfast just so he can know what it’s like to give birth.

Image result for xenomorph toy eggs

                                                     Expires June 3, 2122.

  • You name your daughters Newt, Annalee and Amanda and your sons Kane, Brett, Parker, Ash and Dallas.
  • You sleep in a cryo chamber.
  • You’re license plate is either LV-426 or N0STRM0.
  • You’re answering machine is Ripley’s final report: “This is (your name here), last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off. Please leave a message.”
  • Instead of saying goodbye your parting remark is “Game over, man! Game over!”
  • You bought your in-laws facehuggers for Christmas (in space no one can hear you nag).
  • You sang “You Are My Lucky Star” to your kids as babies – which always ended with a scream.
  • Your biology thesis was on the xenomorph life cycle.
  • When you received news about John Hurt’s death you wore a black chestburster.
  • You wore a jumpsuit to school (with a Weyland-Yutani patch on both shoulders) everyday as a teenager.
  • You keep a flamethrower in the trunk of your car (you just never know).
  • Your ringtone is “Get away from her you bitch!”
  • If any one of your family members is sick you put them on quarantine for 24 hours – in a tent outside the house. We can’t take any risks you know.
  • You’re still sending death threats to the Academy Awards for not giving Sigourney Weaver the 1987 Oscar for Aliens.
  • You’re still sending marriage proposals to Sigourney Weaver – even though she’s been married to the same man for 32 years.

So that’s all I came up with. Could I have listed more? What other ways are you obsessed with the Alien franchise? Any and all suggestions, curses or threats is accepted in the comments section. Happy Alien Day!

 

 

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Dear Hollywood, Drop ‘Alien 5’ And Adapt ‘Alien Isolation’ Instead

dontrun

To the Head of 20th Century Fox,

Request of Current Procedure: produce film adaptation of 2014 horror-survival video game Alien: Isolation, all other Alien franchise projects secondary, current film in production: Alien 5, expendable.

Submitted for your approval: Alien: Isolation takes place 15 years after the events of your 1979 classic where Ripley’s resourceful daughter, Amanda, travels to the exact place where her mother disappeared and boards a space station that has in it’s possession a recorded message Ripley made for her daughter. Unfortunately, Amanda discovers that a majority of the station’s inhabitants are dead, its survivors are territorial, its androids are running amok and a big, scary xenomorph is lurking in the shadows, looking for its next victim. The object of the game is explained best by Wikipedia:

To advance through the game, the player must explore a space station and complete numerous objectives while avoiding, outsmarting and defeating enemies like human occupants or hostile androids. Objectives range from activating computers to collecting certain items or reaching a specific area in the game. The player has the ability to run, climb ladders, and sneak into vents. The player can also crouch and hide behind objects to break the line of sight with enemies, and covertly peek over or lean around to gain view. The player has also the ability to go under nearby tables or inside lockers to hide from enemies.

The alien creature cannot be defeated, requiring the player to use stealth tactics in order to survive. Along the way, the player can use both a flashlight and a motion tracker to detect the alien’s movements. However, using any of these increases the chance of the alien finding the player. For example, if the alien is moving and close enough, the tracker’s sound will attract the alien, forcing the player to wisely use the tracker and remove it as soon as it detects motion. The motion tracker cannot detect enemies when they are not moving and cannot determine whether the alien creature is up in the ducts or on the ground level.

If this explanation of the game’s objective doesn’t interest and/or confuses you, I suggest you pour yourself a cup of coffee, sit back and watch the game movie here.

Are you done? Good. Here’s why this game has potential to become a movie:

  • We can give Sigourney Weaver a break. Don’t get me wrong, I love that woman as much as the next femgeek, but I want to see another woman hero fight/outwit xenomorphs. And in A:I they succeeded with Amanda Ripley, who’s more of an intellectual hero than an action hero. Nowadays we’ve come to the unfortunate conclusion that physical prowess should be the standard for any main female character in an SF movie and that teeters toward the philosophy of “might makes right”. By having an intellectual female hero on the big screen who’s technically savvy, keeps her cool and uses her head, girls (those that are old enough to see the film but are still of an “impressionable” age) will learn that it’s OK (and important) to be smart.
  • It brings the franchise back to its horror roots. One of the reasons why Alien is one of my favorite films of all time is best said by the late, great Roger Ebert:

One of the great strengths of “Alien” is its pacing. It takes its time. It waits. It allows silences. “Alien” uses a tricky device to keep the alien fresh throughout the movie: It evolves the nature and appearance of the creature, so we never know quite what it looks like or what it can do. The 1979 “Alien” is a much more cerebral movie than its sequels, with the characters (and the audience) genuinely engaged in curiosity about this weirdest of lifeforms.

The words I highlighted in bold lead me to an unpopular view: many believe that the franchise started to decline in quality with Alien 3. I believed it declined with James Cameron’s much-loved 1986 sequel when he sidestepped horror for action-thriller and since then every film, comic and video game in the franchise followed in the footsteps of Aliens instead of Alien. Not so with Alien: Isolation and let me tell you, there’s some scary scenes in Alien: Isolation. So scary I was afraid to open any door in my house at night for fear that a xenomorph would jump out at me.

  • It utilizes the technology of the film yet still looks believably futuristic. The technology in Alien reflects the retrofuturism of the 70s even though the story takes place in 2122. Alien: Isolation starts off 15 years after the first film but doesn’t use 2014 technology (the year the game was released). The technology is large, beige and bulky yet that never for once distracts the player/viewer. It works.
  • It centers on a mother/daughter relationship that’s rare in a lot of fiction be it film, TV, or video games. Though I would change that relationship to aunt/niece (see below, though it still centers on female relationships).

However cinema has a history of disastrous video game adaptations (Super Mario Brothers, Street Fighter, etc.) so some changes may be needed to the story. Here’s some changes I would make if I were to write the screenplay.

  • The first plot change I would make is to start the film (after Ripley’s famous last recording) on the Sevastopol space station where Captain Marlowe and his team discover the xenomorph eggs and Marlowe’s wife gets attacked by a facehugger. She is brought on board with the camera closing in on her covered face… then we cut to our first scene of Amanda Ripley.
  • I don’t understand why the game has Ripley kill some of the other survivors of Sevastopol simply because “they don’t trust strangers”. Can’t she at least reason with them and try to convince them that she’s here to help? Can she walk in her mother’s footsteps and convince them that the best way to survive is through teamwork?
  • Her discovery of her mother’s taped message shouldn’t be interrupted by Marlowe’s threats against Taylor’s life. It should be an isolated scene that the audience should linger on while the second movement to Howard Hanson’s Symphony No. 2 plays.
  • I always found it peculiar that the name of the company that the Ripley’s work for is an English-Japanese hybrid, yet there’s never been a Japanese character in the entire franchise. I might change one of the secondary characters (like Ricardo or Waits) or create an entirely new character that’s of Japanese descent.
  • I might change Amanda’s relationship to Ellen from daughter to niece. Why? Because the deleted scene in Aliens where Ellen asks about her daughter isn’t considered canon (though it’s often been included in many “Special Edition” releases) and for me seemed too left field when you remember that Ripley made no mention of having a daughter in Alien. Why would a single mom (no word on what happened to Amanda’s dad) leave her only child (once again, no word on whether Amanda has siblings) for extended periods of time? It would make more sense for a niece, who has a mother already, desire to emulate the aunt she admires by becoming an engineer and working for the same company, investigate her aunt’s disappearance.

This is the Lady, sole inhabitant of Planet X, signing off.

Now, dear readers, it’s your turn. Do you think Alien: Isolation would make a good movie? What did you enjoy about Alien: Isolation?  What would you change? Sound off in the comments.

 

 

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